Posts

Book Ponderings: Autistic Thinking in the Life of the Church

-
Image
So far, the majority of the reading and research I have done throughout my journey of realising  I am more than likely Autistic, has been mainly through: 1) talking to my friends who are  Autistic, and learning from their experiences, and 2) reading online sources (blogs, articles  etc.).  After a while of going down this rabbit hole, I decided there was a need to look out for  some books on the topic. During this process of introspection, I was both beginning to  understand the strengths and good things of the way my mind works, but also becoming  increasingly aware of the limitations it can have on me, especially on the size of my social  battery. It was also around this same time that the restrictions which the COVID-19 pandemic  put on social activities were beginning to lessen, and thus there was going to be more emphasis  and expectations for increased social interactions. This actually became a point of worry for me,  as I had gotten used to the lack these, and also was realisin
Post a Comment
Read more

The Heart-Head Divide

-
Image
In my first post , I explained how I process things through three different dimensions: physical, spiritual and emotional.  When the three dimensions come to the same conclusion, and align with each other, then whatever it is that it's about is a pure joy.  However, if one or two or even all three disagree with each other, it can be really tough, a very real internal struggle.  As mentioned before, I hope to be able to walk you through some of the different iterations of the three dimensions agreeing or disagreeing with each other.  This post will be looking at a situation (a very common one) in which the spiritual and emotional are frequently (but not always) aligned, but the physical is often not in agreement. Interestingly, if  I was left to my own devices (i.e. just physical and emotional, no spiritual dimension), then what I'm about to talk about would be quite different, as my emotional and physical would be in agreement more frequently.  So this is a really good example
Post a Comment
Read more

A Birthday Special

-
Image
In the first few posts, I’ve looked at how I’ve come to terms with the way I think, and learned to see and enjoy the positives in it. However, it has not always been like that, and there are definite down sides to be aware of. One of them is the way in which it can make you more vulnerable to mental health struggles such as anxiety and depression. This day, 7 years ago, I was in the depths of the longest period of prolonged and life consuming anxiety (and periods of depression sometimes for a double whammy) I’ve ever experienced. It effected every part of my life, every day, for a number of years. It was also 1 week before the due date of my first born daughter, Melody. We didn’t particularly plan for a summer baby or anything, we had just started trying for a baby, and the timing happened when it happened.  Throughout Nicky's pregnancy the anxiety played its tricks, and I found myself often entertaining the dark thoughts of all that could go wrong during pregnancy and child birth,
Post a Comment
Read more

Occam's razor - simplicity and complexity

-
Image
In my last post , I looked at how I struggled for some time feeling like I over-complicated everything, but now aim to see my mind as being intricate, instead of complex.  This has definitely been a very healthy change in my mindset, and has helped to to appreciate, and even enjoy, the aspects of my mind I often found myself wrestling against and wishing I didn't have (there are still these moments at times ;-)).  The more I've reflected on this over the years, the more I have realised that I also find myself frequently striving for simplicity, or a simple resolution to a problem, and appreciating that just as much as the complex solutions.   Essentially, I seem to gravitate towards Occams razor, a theory from philosophy which states "plurality should not be posited without necessity.”.  It's a funny saying, which could do with using its own principle on itself.  It basically means, keeps things simple, unless you absolutely have to.  If there are two competing theorie
Post a Comment
Read more

Complex vs Intricate

-
Image
For many years, I was aware that my mind was a busy place.  I knew it was often very hard for me to take things at face value, but instead I would process "inputs" to my thinking through the multiple dimensions of my mind.  What do I think about that input from a physical perspective? Does that differ to my spiritual dimension views? H ow does that make me feel (my emotional dimension)? If my physical dimension thoughts differ to those of my spiritual dimension thoughts, which is right?  Have I misunderstood the spiritual aspects, or are they right, and it's just different to what you would expect in the physical dimension?  In future posts, I hope to look at some specific examples of this interplay.  For now, I'm just going to look at how this interplay has, in the past, lead me to doubt the strength of my faith, and how in-fact it can actually be a joy. As I was becoming progressively actively aware of the interplay of my thoughts, I ended up feeling like I was just
Post a Comment
Read more

Hello World (about this blog)

-
Image
Why this blog? Ok, so here’s the thing. I’ve contemplated starting a blog before. In fact, I have started one, and then gave up pretty quickly. I've never found an area that I wanted to settle on to blog about.  However, over the past year or so I've been doing a lot of processing, a large part of which has been on trying to understand myself better.  I had got to a point in my life where I became acutely aware of the amount of energy and effort I have put in all of my life to feel like I fitted in, or would be accepted, because for some reason I just felt different to the majority of people I spent time with.  During this process, my wife and I were taking a couple through a pre-marriage course, and one of these people was diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome (now typically referred to as part ASD, see here ).  During the course, as they explained some of the things they struggled with, I started to see a lot of similarities between their struggles, and mine.  As I've researc
Post a Comment
Read more