The Heart-Head Divide

In my first post, I explained how I process things through three different dimensions: physical, spiritual and emotional.  When the three dimensions come to the same conclusion, and align with each other, then whatever it is that it's about is a pure joy.  However, if one or two or even all three disagree with each other, it can be really tough, a very real internal struggle.  As mentioned before, I hope to be able to walk you through some of the different iterations of the three dimensions agreeing or disagreeing with each other.  This post will be looking at a situation (a very common one) in which the spiritual and emotional are frequently (but not always) aligned, but the physical is often not in agreement. Interestingly, if I was left to my own devices (i.e. just physical and emotional, no spiritual dimension), then what I'm about to talk about would be quite different, as my emotional and physical would be in agreement more frequently.  So this is a really good example of how the different dimensions interact with each other, and can cause each one to change.  

So, what is todays topic/situation looking at?  Well, it's a very broad topic, and one that is encountered frequently. It is people interaction, with a specific focus on the social aspects (it's vastly different when people interaction scenarios are focussed on a defined topic, partly because there are less variables to consider). 

So, let's take a look at what the three dimensions of my life have to say about social interaction, starting with the dimension most in favour of it, ending with the dimension least in favour.  For some of the dimensions, I'll also look at how it can be effected by the other dimensions.

Spiritual Dimension

"And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching." Hebrews 10:24-25

The above verses from Hebrews are just one of many examples from the Bible which encourages, and even goes as far as, stipulating that we must be in community with each other.  We are not supposed to live a solitary life, we are designed and made to be connected to other people.  This is clearly seen throughout the Bible, old and new testament, and is corroborated by many modern day secular psychology studies.  

This interaction with people in community isn't to just be within the church, but we are very clearly told by Jesus himself to "go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit" (Matt 28:19).  If we are to do this, then we simply cannot live our whole lives within a Christian bubble, as we would never get the chance to take the gospel message to those who are not in the Church.  

The two above paragraphs together, combined with the fact that we all are made in God's image (Genesis 1:27), we are the "imago dei", and that God does not want anyone to perish, but for all to come to a knowledge and obedience to Him (2 Peter 3:9), all drive me toward a really strong spiritual drive to interact with people.  I want to love, build up, and encourage those within the Church, I also want to do the same for those outside the Church, and I long for those outside to come to a knowledge of God and give their lives to Him. 

Emotional Dimension

The emotional dimension can vary with its desires, it can be swayed by both the spiritual and physical dimensions. As the spiritual dimension is always for social interaction for the reasons stated above, this has a constant positive impact on my emotional desires for social interaction.  This makes me emotionally want to spend time with people, hear their struggles, empathise with them, encourage them, build them up etc.  My physical dimension, on the other hand, fluctuates between having a positive impact and a negative impact.  As you'll read below, when I feel overwhelmed, or overstimulated, I have very low capacity for social interaction. If I've had a period of routine and predictable life, then my capacity for social interaction is significantly higher.  The other aspects of the physical dimension which has the potential to impact my emotions, is related to mental health.  I have had numerous struggles with anxiety and depression over the years, mental health struggles which are more likely in someone who is on the autistic spectrum (again, read more about my journey related to this below). Mental health is a complex topic, but there are numerous links between the physical make up of the brain, and chemical imbalances, that have clear effects on emotions.  In my case, I'm not fully certain which dimension has the biggest impact on my occasional struggles, but I do know that when I do struggle, my capacity for social interaction drastically reduces.

More often than not, my emotional dimension is aligned with my spiritual (as long as I allow it to be), and desiring social interaction, and the limiting factor is the physical dimension.  However, I can fairly confidently say that, if I wasn't heavily influenced by my spiritual dimension, then I'm almost certain my emotional desires would be vastly different, and would more often than not align with my physical desires, and I would be a hermit. My emotional dimension is sort of like the middle man between the spiritual and physical dimensions.

Physical Dimension

In this case, the physical dimension is related to the physical make-up of my brain.  There's something about the way the neurons are wired and connected, that means that I'm hard-wired to think and process a certain way.  This is a big part of the journey I've been on recently, trying to understand what is hard-wired, and what is changeable.  It is through this journey where I have noticed a huge number of ways in which I am extremely aligned with the thought processes of someone on the Autism spectrum.  The more I read about this topic, the more I find I can relate and totally understand what is being described.  I'm growing increasingly convinced that I am solidly on the spectrum, but I'm reluctant to say for sure that I am, as it can be a long process with a multi-disciplinary team of medical experts to get a diagnosis, and I don't want to make light of that process.  However, the friends that I have that do have an official diagnosis don't seem to doubt my own conclusions.  

Now, if I am on the spectrum, then it means that there is some hard-wiring in my brain that makes social interaction really hard work.  This means that no matter how strong my emotional and spiritual desires can be, I can often (but not always) feel my physical mind saying "why are you doing this? It is such hard work".  Sometimes I feel like my brain is actually aching.  Most often, this is when I've had multiple avenues of stimulation for too long a time, and my mind is worn down from processing things, and I just feel the need to shutdown.  Now, it's important to note that, if it weren't for my spiritual dimension driving me, and to a lesser part my emotional dimension, then physically I would be very content to have very minimal social contact.  Emotionally, this isn't because I don't like people, but that I'm very comfortable in my own company, and it means I have more energy to do what I love, think and process.  Whereas physically I long for solitary time, my spiritual dimension (which also impacts my emotional dimension) continually pushes me to go outside my own desires, and long to spend time with people. The spiritual dimension has such a dramatic impact on me, that I long for these social interactions, so much so that I frequently find my hearts desires (the combination of my spiritual and emotional dimensions) being far bigger than my physical dimension can actually cope with.  This can lead to burn out really quickly if I only listen to the combined spiritual-emotional dimensions, and don't take in to account the fact my physical dimension needs to rest. Coming to understand this has made so much sense of much of my life, and is helping me to work out how I can live out the calling God has on my life, without feeling constantly drained. This is still very much an ongoing process.

The Summary

I hope the above has been interesting for you to see a very real day to day struggle I have.  One thing to note is how clear and present this process if for me.  This isn't something which goes on subliminally without me thinking about it, these are real thoughts which I have to process before I can make a decision about what to do in a day or week or month.  Sometimes, the spiritual dimension can trump the physical, and give me supernatural energy for social interactions, other times my physical can drain me of all desires for social stuff.  What I do know is, whatever situation I find myself in, that God knitted me together in my mothers womb, and created my inmost being (Psalm 139), so I can always know that no matter which dimension feels the strongest at any given time, God knows me, and knows what He has called me to do with my life, and He will equip me accordingly.

We are now in the final days before Christmas day, where we celebrate the birth of Jesus, God coming to the earth that He created, in human form.  Because of this miraculous process, this means that we have a God who is not unable to empathise with our weakness (Hebrews 4:15).  He understands the human condition, but He, himself, was still without sin, and yet He still has endless grace and mercy for us, who are definitely not without sin.  He knows the limitations you have, but He also knows the grand plans He has for you (Jeremiah 29:11), and how you are able to do all things He asks of you, because He strengthens you (Philippians 4:13).

Happy Christmas everyone, I hope and pray you have a restful time.

picture taken from here